Paperwork
by Jojo6
Summary: Episode addition for PoliticsThe Serpants Lair. Daniel's POV. Slight SJ.


Title: Paperwork

Author: Jojo

Email: randomleaves@yahoo.co.uk

Season: 2

Disclaimer: 

Summary: Episode addition for The Serpents Lair. Daniel POV.

A/N:

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_"I take it they're not engaged in your reality either."_

_"No."_

*

It was probably the weirdest thing about that reality, Daniel decided. More weird than Jack being a hard-ass General. More weird than him being dead and not being the one to figure out the key to the Stargate.

Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter – engaged?

Freaky.

Jack paused, a piece of chicken and some salad poised precariously on the end of his raised fork. He wiggled the fork and Daniel eyed the chicken nervously, in case it sprayed across the numerous notes he had spread around his own plate. "Carter, the trick to eating lunch is to, you know, eat it." 

Sam lifted her head from the report she was intently reading and looked at Jack for a moment as if she didn't recognize him. Daniel knew that glazed look of concentration only too well. 

"Sorry, sir," she said eventually, picking up her own fork and staring down at her plate with some surprise. She began to collect chunks of lettuce, her eyes flicking back to the report sneakily.

There was just no way, Daniel decided, looking from Sam to Jack and back again. No way at all.

He picked up his coffee and sipped. After saving the Stargate program from closure, the inevitable department assessments had been brought down upon everyone's heads. In additional to the heads of departments writing personnel assessments, they were supposed to be brainstorming ideas to cut back on the cost of running the program, which Daniel personally thought was ludicrous. It wasn't as if they were going to be able to knock off a billion dollars simply by cutting back on how much paper they used.

He'd always hated politics.

"Still think a bake sale would be a good idea."

Daniel rolled his eyes, but noticed Sam smiling slightly into her food. Did she do that frequently? Be amused by his perfectly ridiculous jokes? Not that it was a sign of love, of course, it was just that Daniel had never really noticed before. But if they had the same sense of humor...

Well, if they had the same sense of humor, then Daniel was seriously worried for Sam's sanity.

"Maybe we could work with the lights off," he then suggested. "Seriously, we could do this by flashlight, right? Candles?"

Teal'c gave Jack a very serious look. "I do not think so, O'Neill."

Ha! Go Teal'c! Daniel smirked over his coffee at the Jaffa, who continued to regard Jack with some confusion.

"It was a joke, Teal'c."

"I see."

Teal'c clearly didn't.

Jack sighed next to Daniel. "We'll work on inappropriate wisecracks again at the weekend, Teal'c."

"Thank you." Pleased with this decision to improve his human education (highly suspicious education, Daniel thought, making a mental note to take Teal'c museum hopping at some point in the near future), Teal'c nodded and went back to his pile of food. 

Pile? Mountain, more like.

This time, Sam made a slight noise. Then she cleared her throat and looked to him. "More coffee, anyone?"

Daniel checked his mug and decided it did need a refill. "Thanks, Sam. Um, black..."

"I know how you take it, Daniel. I've been getting you coffee for a year," she interrupted, rolling her eyes and walking off since Jack appeared to be okay with his and Teal'c only had a glass of water.

Bored, and trying to avoid his own paperwork, Daniel looked after Sam and saw she was chatting to a familiar-looking guy – a lieutenant, if he read the insignia right. 

God, soon he'd be able to tell the differences between the Generals, Daniel thought with some horror. 

Sam was smiling broadly at the lieutenant and, Daniel noticed, the lieutenant was blushing and helping her with the coffee. 

"Looks like Sam's made a conquest," Daniel said, without thinking.

Jack looked up. "What?"

"Uh... " Hmm. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Regulations being what they were and all – though he was pretty fuzzy on the whole issue. The way Jack had seemed so concerned about them suggested they were pretty important. 

"Dr. Jackson is referring to Lieutenant Simmons," Teal'c replied, *without turning around*.

Talk about freaky.

"Who's that then?" Jack wanted to know, eyeing Sam and the tomato-colored lieutenant over Teal'c's head.

"He is a gate technician of some proficiency. Recently transferred."

Daniel looked at Teal'c in astonishment. The guy began to calmly butter one of his three bread rolls. "Wow, Teal'c. Even Jack didn't know that."

Immediately, and somewhat unsurprisingly, Jack took offense at this slight on his knowledge. "I did, too!"

"You did not." Why was he doing this? "You didn't even know who he was!"

"Well, I couldn't place the face to the name. Forgive me for not knowing every single person on the base, Daniel."

There was no way he was going to win this argument, Daniel realized. Not without seriously wasting some time and getting a headache in the process. It would save him enormous pain if he just shut up and let the issue slide.

He opened his mouth to continue anyway, but Sam appeared and sat down with their coffee. "Here you go, Daniel."

"Thanks, Sam." Daniel gave Jack a glare and picked up the fresh mug for a calming sip. He'd say this for the coffee here – it was pretty damn good. What was more, so was the food. He'd always associated military food with airplane food. "Why is the food so good here, anyway?" he asked.

"Last meal before you die," Jack said bluntly, pushing the remnants of his chicken around his plate before deciding to start on his dessert.

Daniel blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Sam grinned and shifted in her chair. "Some bases have better food than others, that's all. We're lucky."

"No, it's because we could die on a regular basis," Jack insisted, pig-headedly. He waved a spoonful of red Jell-O around the table and, with dismay, Daniel watched as a blob of red goo landed on his pile of finished personnel reports that he'd brought for reference. 

Jack didn't notice. Teal'c slid a napkin towards Daniel helpfully.

"Really?" Sam looked at Jack suspiciously.

"I'm sure he's joking," Daniel replied, dabbing delicately at the Jell-O with the napkin and clenching his teeth when he saw the red stain. Crap. He was going to have to print that out again.

Lesson number one while dining with Jack O'Neill – never bring work.

"I'm not." Jack grinned and continued to shovel Jell-O into his mouth with all the delicacy of a ... well, a hungry Jack O'Neill.

Sam 'hmm'd neutrally and went back to eating and reading at the same time, which was *definitely* the best response. Daniel decided next time Jack was being irritating, he'd do exactly the same thing.

Really.

He sighed and went back to his latest personnel assessment – Dr. Farren. He was trying to come up with a suitable way to make Dr. Farren sound like a worthwhile member of his department instead of an ass. Farren was just... a little rough around the edges and the fact that every other word out of his mouth was a curse (usually in another language) was no reason to think he was less than professional.

"Blue Jell-O?"

_Just ignore them, Daniel. Focus. You know you were distracted this morning by that new tablet from P8X 249 and didn't get a single personnel report done._

"It's my favorite flavor."

"*Blue* Jell-O?"

_Ignore. Ignore._

"Yessir."

"Makes your tongue blue."

Oh God. _Don'tlookupdon'tlookup._

"It does?"

"Stick your tongue out."

Daniel looked up, helpless to watch this new idiocy. Sam, despite looking around a little nervously, stuck out her tongue a little. Jack grinned and pointed his thankfully empty fork at her. "Blue."

Sam's tongue slid back into her mouth rapidly and she looked at Daniel worriedly. "Daniel?"

He couldn't believe he was about to have this conversation. "It's a very pale blue," he said comfortingly. "Really. Not very noticeable."

Sam's face was a picture. Truly. And if Daniel hadn't been a pretty sensitive guy, he would have laughed.

Jack, on the other hand, was grinning like a maniac at her. Jack was an ass.

"O'Neill. Your tongue is also a different color."

Jack, having no qualms about looking less than idiotic in public, stuck his tongue out fully, waggled it around, and tried to see for himself. 

Sam laughed, forgetting about her own embarrassment for the moment. "Definitely red, sir."

"Bright red?"

She nodded, straight-faced, but her eyes were glinting.

Daniel leaned forward to see if she was telling the truth. He smirked. "That's a great look, Jack. Really. So mature."

Jack's tongue disappeared and he cleared his throat and reached for his water. "It's you young kids corrupting me."

Sam and Daniel exchanged a look.

"Sure, Jack. Sure."

"I am, in fact, nearly ninety-three years old," Teal'c pointed out.

Jack's mouth dropped open. "Ninety-three? Ninety-*three*? How did I not know this?"

"You have not asked."

"You're old enough to be my... my...." Jack paused and slid a glance towards Daniel and then Sam. "So, anyway, how about that bake sale?"

Sam drank her coffee with lowered eyes, hiding her smirk behind her mug. She shook her head ever so slightly and glanced up at Jack for a moment. They held eyes, with Daniel watching and suddenly... well, for a moment, Daniel felt he was looking at something he shouldn't be.

Then the moment was over and Daniel was left feeling... a little weird, truthfully, wondering whether he was reading too much into what he thought he saw and if he saw anything at all. After all, Jack was now trying to look at his tongue in the back of his spoon and Sam was sipping water and quietly swooshing it around her mouth, no doubt to try and get rid of the blue food coloring. 

Maybe it was nothing. 

It was probably nothing.

Determined to ignore any and all conversation from now onwards, no matter the provocation, Daniel went back to his paperwork. Hmm. Maybe 'passionate' was a good word to use when describing Dr. Farren.

  



End file.
